Sep 11, 201208:20 AMPlain Jane
Because Moms Can't Be Afraid to Tell it Like it is
I recently read an article posted on Yahoo! Health titled, Marisa Miller's Secrets to Staying Fit and you will not believe what this Sports Illustrated supermodel does to stay slim.
She eats naked
Yeah, you read that right. Naked . She was quoted in the article saying, "Eating smart is all about having an awareness of your body. The most obvious way to do that is by seeing it. So when you're trying to lose weight, spend more time wearing less. I don't think I could eat a plate of nachos naked, could you?”
Why, yes, Marisa, yes I could eat a plate of nacho's naked!
I wouldn't want to because I'm cold all the time (and nacho cheese is really hot and drippy) but I would do it in a flash. I would also eat gummy bears, chocolate and any other food you wish to toss near me. My being in the buff would never diminish my love for the ultimate party food, so pass the salsa, please, and hand me a sweater.
She practices portion control
The supermodel also reveals that she doesn't pig out. “I usually say ‘no’ to the bad things at Whole Foods, but then I get to the register where they have individually-wrapped chocolates. I'll grab five and keep them at home. If I need something sweet, I've got it,” she says.
OK, Marisa, we get it; you are not an alien robot of perfection like we all suspected. However, I'm guessing the "individually-wrapped chocolates" you mention are not the jumbo-sized Snickers bars that I buy—the creamy, yet crunchy ones I cram down my gullet before I even leave the grocery store.
The model makes smart swaps
The online article reads, “Instead of potato chips, she munches on organic Rhythm Superfoods Kool Ranch Kale Chips. And she mixes tuna with Wildwood garlic aioli instead of mayo. She also whips up leaner versions of Griffin's high-fat favorites, such as a BLT made with an Ezekiel English muffin, organic tomatoes, avocado, lettuce, and turkey bacon.”
I say to this, EWWWWWwww! Isn't kale cabbage? And who in their right mind thinks turkey bacon is nearly as delicious as real bacon? As we all know, bacon is THE gateway food that has been solely responsible for many a vegetarian abandoning their healthy diets because it's THAT yummy. I'll go so far to say that you could wrap bacon around an old sneaker and it would taste marvelous.
The next section was all about exercise, so I stopped reading immediately. Why would I continue? I mean, I'll never have six-pack abs and a curvy waist like this lady if it means I have to eat leafy potato chips naked.
What would my kids say?
So I guess I'll have to find a way to appreciate my muffin-top love handles. While clothed. Eating bacon. And Snickers bars. And whatever else makes me happy, because the life of a supermodel is obviously horrible.