Oct 9, 201207:34 AMPlain Jane
Because Moms Can't Be Afraid to Tell it Like it is
Bullying: A new perspective
My son was bullied and physically assaulted last week on the bus. This wasn't the first time. I was—and am—enraged. Yet, what makes me even more furious is the reaction I received on my Plain Jane Facebook page about the incident.
Oh, how the comments poured in about enrolling my child in karate and self-defense courses—the primary assumption being that my child is a wimp.
Let me share a story: When I was in college, I had no car. I would walk everywhere. One evening, around dusk, I walked through a park on my way home. I was attacked. After escaping Lord-knows-what end, I called the police.
Know what they asked me first? "Why were you walking home alone at night?"
Not, "What did he look like? What was he wearing?" Nope. It was apparently my fault.
In my opinion, the bullying problem should not focus on the victim (the good kids, the ones with manners, the ones who follow the rules and display wonderful behavior) but should squarely take aim at the bullies themselves.
What is causing them to act like feral beasts? Who are their role models? What is their home life like? Who taught them to be unrestrained, volatile animals? Perhaps by looking at the cause, not the effect, we could actually change a few lives.
So forgive me for teaching my son not to hit girls, to use his words and not his fists and to obey the rules of polite society.
And shouldn't his display of outstanding manners prove him FAR MORE assertive and controlled than the psychopaths who attacked him with unbridled restraint? In the final analysis, school systems and society in general are looking at the bullying problem all wrong. To quote Shakespeare, "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the stars, but in ourselves."