Jun 25, 201208:23 AMPlain Jane
Because Moms Can't Be Afraid to Tell it Like it is
Sit or squat: There's an app for that
The fine folks at Charmin, the toilet paper people, have just come out with an app for finding the nearest toilet to your location. You may then rate the loos based on cleanliness, odor, etc. What a brilliant idea! I'm guessing a woman came up with this idea. So that got me thinking, what other app might a mother of youngsters need?
How about an app called "The Terminator." The mom-user types in the circumstances of the fight her children are currently having. Then, the app generates the perfect solution to the problem. Suddenly, the brawls over whose turn it is next or the dreaded, "It's not fair..." squabble may be resolved instantly by experts. And you are off the hook for appearing to show favoritism.
Or maybe someone could come up with an app for those tough days. Call it the "Mommy's Gonna Lose It" app. Just press the button and you will be directed to the nearest shrink’s office, wine store or quiet place.
Already blew your top? Press the, "You are NOT a Terrible Mother" app. Soothing words will appear on your screen with uplifting phrases like, "Your children will NEVER end up in therapy. Your kids are lucky to have you. You are a Saint. Tomorrow your kids will forget all about this. Chocolate is your friend—go eat some! Repeat these words: I am not crazy. I am not crazy. I am not..."
What app would you come up with??