Facebook Icon Twitter Icon Email Icon Pinterest Icon  
Overcast 63.0F Forecast »
Advertisement

Jul 30, 201208:37 AMPlain Jane

Because Moms Can't Be Afraid to Tell it Like it is

Scenes from the swamp

Jul 30, 2012 - 08:37 AM

As I write this blog my husband, the bald man, is watching Hillbilly Handfishing on television. Next up on his must-see TV schedule: Swamp People. Welcome to my world.

What is it about these programs that make men want to watch them so badly? Is it some kind of long-thought dormant caveman gene that spontaneously springs to life the moment a fish appears on screen?

Or maybe the bald man secretly wants to move to the bayou and hunt crocks for a living? I can hear him now, "Liiizzzzzzbett—I mean, Jaaaannne. Git da gun an shoot dat crock. Shoot im! Awrrighh, naw let's git da boys an hang some mo rotten meat from da trees."

If that's what his dream is, I'm out. There is no way this lady is trolling the swamps on an air boat looking for some prehistoric, man-eating lizards, nor will I be digging blindly under rocks for giant fish. Plus, I'm just about 100 percent  certain that everything found under rocks is disgusting. End of story.

Of course maybe the bald man just likes watching these shows. Perhaps it allows him to unwind after a long day. I'll have to ask him at the next commercial break, right after Lizbet hauls that 750-pound handbag into the boat. Riveting television. Just riveting. For men. *sigh*

Jul 31, 2012 09:10 am
 Posted by  Pam

Bet the bald man, in his younger days, thought wrestle mania was real wrestling.... LOL Just say'n.

Add your comment:
Bookmark and Share Email this page Email Print this page Print Feed Feed

Advertisement

Advertisement

About this Column

Looking for puppy’s breath and baby kisses? Move along please. 

Want a laugh? Then you’re in the right place. Welcome. Hang out with me. Be my new bestie! My weekly blog is about anything and everything: From why I haven’t gone to the bathroom without an audience in 8 years, my kids, or my not-so-secret romance with Peanut M&M’s. You just never know. Give me a spin because I was totally serious about the bestie thing. (Eyes on you)

I have two boys, ages 6 and 8, an incredibly fat Labradoodle dog and a hot, bald husband. Clowns, bees, hyper-aggressive people and mimes weird me out. Cooking, the smell of a campfire and everything from the 70s and 80s make me all gushy and melty inside. My favorite words are: shenanigans, snarky and trebuchet. And I strongly suspect, now that it’s out there, that I’m a total geek because I actually admit to having favorite words. Sigh.

If you’re not into a weekly commitment (I mean seriously, we just met), my award-winning syndicated plain jane column runs every month in Central Penn Parent magazine. Oh, and before I forget, I have a website and I’m on Twitter and Facebook. So stalk, follow and friend me ASAP!

Website: www.JaneSuter.com
Facebook: Plain Jane
Twitter:  @PlainJaneSuter

Advertisement