Aug 28, 201207:32 AMPlain Jane
Because Moms Can't Be Afraid to Tell it Like it is
Do you ever sit down?
My husband is constantly telling me, “Jane, sit down. That can wait ... just relax.”
There are a few things wrong with his impassioned directives: No. 1, I have always been a person who has squirrels in her pants—he knew this when we married. After almost 12 years of marriage, you'd think he'd be on board.
No. 2: I'm a mom. ‘Nuff said.
Recently, he was sitting on the couch while I emptied the dishwasher, put the boys to bed, vacuumed, sacked the trash and wiped down the counters. I was supposed to be sitting there with him watching a movie. But I don't think I have ever—in my entire life—rented a movie and sat down through the whole thing.
While The Bald Man sat there getting the plot down, I breezed in and out. Poor guy. Especially when I made him pause the DVD so he could fill me in. I could almost see his head explode when I asked him. (Am I the worst wife in the world?)
The reason I share this story is because I don't know a mom out there who actually relaxes and sits down. Do they exist? Who are they? Where do they live? I want to talk to them. Plus, how are their children doing? Are they aimlessly wandering around and walking into walls? Are they fed? Are they a wreck? I'm guessing yes.
So here's to all of the moms and dads out there who never sit down. You are a "bottomless" (couldn't resist) pit of selflessness. I applaud you all. Now go sit down and relax. Ha! Just joshing. Instead, do a few dozen more laps around your house and collapse at some bleak hour in the a.m. like the rest of us exhausted child-bearers.
Oh, and the next time someone tells you to “relax and sit down,” just look them dead in the eye and shout, "Squirrel!" Then run away. If they're a parent, they'll understand.