Pregnancy

by Wendy L. Garman

Symptoms may include, gas, heartburn, swollen breasts, hemorrhoids, water retention, irritability, an insatiable appetite, constant nausea and a bladder the size of a walnut. A very small walnut. No, you’re not dying from some rare Tanzanian plague. You’re pregnant — and, like it or not, your body is about to change in ways your mind cannot fathom.

Total exhaustion. The tiredness you can expect to feel in the early stages of pregnancy can be described only as extreme. It’s like being on nighttime cold medicine —permanently! If you are blessed with a chance to nap, take it. Don’t feel bad about it. Snuggle down under your blanket and become intimate with your pillow. There is a human being growing inside of you. Aren’t you tired just thinking about that? Forget those 9 p.m. TV shows you’re addicted to...even “Grey’s Anatomy” won’t keep you awake.

The Boobie Fairy. A distant relative of the tooth fairy and sister to the “how did my butt get this big” fairy, the boobie fairy comes to visit early on in your pregnancy and, make no mistake, you will notice. So will anyone and everyone who has ever noticed your chest. The list is larger than you think. You will awaken to puffy, sexy and extremely sensitive breasts, sometimes with small road maps drawn on them (very veiny). How sensitive will they be? You may find that the shower is not your friend, putting on your bra may not seem that important and shirts may become optional if you’re not going out.

Heartburn, throat burn, can’t-feel-my-tongue burn. Warning: Your baby can cause acid reflux. This will cause you to feel as if you have swallowed an entire pack of Big Red gum. Many helpful family members will insist that it’s caused by something you ate and that you should be more cautious. Know this: even if you ate nothing but mashed potatoes for an entire week, which is not recommended, the fire will not go out. Think about it. Baby pushing up on stomach equals stomach acid rising. You get the picture. Advice: Ignore the helpful family members and seek professional options by discussing the matter with your doctor.

A peeing you will go. There’s an old wives' tale that says your body wakes you to pee every couple of hours to prepare you for a similar sleep pattern when your newborn arrives. Not sure if that’s true or not, but you will learn how to walk to the bathroom, pee, wipe, wash your hands, and return to bed without waking. Some are even lucky enough to master the route to the kitchen to grab a midnight snack. A word of advice: watch out for that refrigerator light...it may startle.

Craving the unusual. The pregnancy craving has been exaggerated by Hollywood and TV land. You probably won’t want pickles with your ice cream. It’s not likely that you will ask your husband to drive to Burger King in the middle of the night for a Whopper with extra tomatoes. However, you might be surprised to find a desire to eat a food you’ve always loathed. But, you’ll know what to do. Embrace that lima bean. After all, your baby needs it.

Just barf, you’ll feel better. While this symptom varies from woman to woman, many experience some form of nausea. Be that barfing in mid-sentence or only once the entire first trimester. Your doctor will try to assure you that the “barfier” you feel, the healthier your baby is. This will be little comfort. Some FAQs: Yes, you can be nauseated and hungry at the same time. No, you’re not hallucinating. Raw meat can at times smell like three-day-old road kill. Yes, it is still called morning sickness at 8 p.m. Go figure. It must have been named by a wishful-thinking husband.

No BUTTS about it. Somewhere between pregnancy-induced constipation and delivery lies the evil hemorrhoid. Even amongst your best girlfriends, these are seldomly discussed. If you’ve never had the joy before now, you can’t really prepare for just how “discomforting” they can be. Talk to your doctors. They’ve seen them before, and, no, yours is not big enough to enter into the local fair. We all think we have a record holder.

PMS Monster. The beast that usually rears its ugly head once a month will accompany you throughout your pregnancy. This is only a mild exaggeration. The PMS Monster, also known as pregnancy-induced insanity, may actually be a legal defense. It can cause the following, along with many other, symptoms: the inability to concentrate on any one task, uncontrollable weeping during diaper commercials, an overwhelming urge to kill your husband and numerous irrational fears mostly involving turning into your mother. Currently, there is no known cure.

STTTTRRRREEETTTCCCHHHH marks. Imagine, if you can, your belly, breasts and butt after a run in with a wild squirrel. You didn’t think it was just your belly, did you? Common misconception. These marks, while permanent, will fade with time. Of course, this will be little comfort when childless women walk by in their bikinis. The good news: all that lotion you’ve been lubricating your budding bulge with can alleviate the itching caused by stretching skin. By all means, lube. You’re not hurting anything.

Labor of Love. The last trimester will become the longest three months of your life. The worry of labor and delivery will seem overwhelming. Three things you must know: Medals of honor are not given to women who do not ask for pain medication. This should be YOUR decision, not your mother-in-law’s. You will not care who comes into the delivery room, be it interns, neighbors or even your father-in-law; and, when your baby is one minute old, you will be sure that all of the above was worth it.

Planning for baby. Even before baby’s big debut, there are hundreds of decisions to make. Where will baby sleep? Who will handle nighttime feedings? Should we get a minivan? With so many questions, only one thing’s for certain: Mom and Dad need to get on the same page.

Baby’s Name. OK, so this might sound obvious, but many couples enter the delivery room still undecided about baby’s name. To prevent the dreaded “Baby Smith” birth certificate, settle on one or two first and middle names for each sex before Mom’s water breaks.

The Delivery. There’s no question about it—Mom is having this baby. How she has it and who is present are both up to you. Will you choose a midwife or a doula? How does Mom (and Dad) feel about having an epidural? A detailed birth plan can help firm things up for you, the doctor and your family.

Finances. With one more mouth to feed, dollars really need to stretch. Track your spending before baby arrives and create a budget that leaves some wiggle room for baby’s expenses.

Religion. For many, family life includes actively following a specific faith. Decide together if this is important to your new family. Visit churches or synagogues before baby arrives, and pick the one that makes you most comfortable. If Mom and Dad belong to two different faiths, determine how baby will be raised.

Creating a Will. If you haven’t created a will yet, now is the time to sit down with a professional and work one up. Biggest decision on your plate: Who will raise baby if the unexpected happens? When deciding, keep in mind the person’s values, age, location and current family situation.

The Family Car. Now is the time to decide whether or not the sports coupe needs to be replaced with the family minivan. Take the time to assess if your ride is safe, family friendly and suitable for baby’s car seat.

Child Care. Some people have deep-rooted beliefs that one parent should stay home; for others, two working parents are necessary for financial stability and/or personal satisfaction and happiness. Settle on a child care solution and be open to doctoring the plan as your new family changes.

Sleeping Arrangements. Some parents choose to keep their little one close in a bassinet by the bed, others want baby in her own crib in the nursery. Still another option is the family bed, where baby sleeps in bed with both Mom and Dad. Talk about your options and determine what will work best for your family.

Duties/Schedules. Once baby arrives, the list of things to do will likely double, or even triple! Who will handle nighttime feedings? How will routines shift and be rearranged? Divvy things up both before and after baby arrives. If possible, get in the habit of giving each other an hour or two of “alone” time and “couple” time each week.

Time Off. Most companies allow for maternity leave. Some employers even offer fathers paternity leave. Try to come up with a game plan for your time off. How many weeks can you afford to take off? Will Dad use his leave right away or at a later time? Who will be expected to take off when baby gets sick?

The Grandparents. Once your parents and in-laws, they’re now the future grandparents. While their intensions may be good, their opinions may come across as pushy or insensitive. Keep them involved, but tactfully set your boundaries.

Baby Registry Must-Haves

Having a baby? That first trip to the baby department can leave you feeling like a babe in the retail woods yourself. There are so many products and brands of baby gear to choose from, each boasting a dizzying array of supposedly must-have features. How’s a parent-to-be supposed to distinguish between the must-haves and the frills when it comes to shopping for baby?

Experienced parents will tell you that the only way to avoid succumbing to the charms of too-cute nursery ensembles and other baby world gear is to know what you need long before you ever allow yourself to step foot in a baby store. Here are some other tips from parents who’ve survived the nine-and-a-half-month-long shopping experience called pregnancy.

Talk to friends who have recently had babies about which items were essential and which were frills — and which items were awkward to use (snowsuits that didn’t zip down far enough in the leg) or didn’t stand up to real-world baby conditions (dry-clean anything).

Round out your friends’ experience by visiting Web sites that specialize in baby product reviews and by consulting shopping guides such as “Baby Bargains,” by Denise and Alan Fields, and “The Baby Gizmo Buying Guide,” by Heather Maclean (see our Giveaways section).

Test-drive baby products at friends’ homes and in baby stores, using your own baby or a reasonable facsimile. Tip: A teddy bear borrowed from the stuffed animal aisle will give you a solid sense of how easy it is to get a real baby in and out of that snowsuit or car seat. If you find that you’re contorting the test teddy into impossibly uncomfortable-looking positions, give that particular snowsuit or car seat the heave-ho.

Don’t feel like you have to buy everything right away. See what items you’re able to borrow from others or pick up second-hand — and which items you’ll receive as baby gifts. Of course, it’s important to know which items you should avoid purchasing second-hand, for safety reasons.

Once you’ve come up with a baby gear wish list, you may want to consider registering your picks with the baby store of your choice. That will make it easier for family and friends to zero in on the baby products that best meet your family’s needs. This is particularly important for products like nursery furniture, breast pumps, strollers and car seats, which are difficult for others to pick out for you and your baby.

So there you have it: some advice on avoiding some of the most common baby gear overspending traps.

Written by Ann Douglas, an award-winning journalist and the author of The Mother of All Pregnancy Books. Visit her blog at anndouglas.blogspot.com.

Baby Registry checklist

The list of baby essentials is daunting. Luckily, most moms-to-be have baby showers to celebrate the upcoming arrival and to stock up on baby-must haves. Here’s our list of what to register for:

Layette/Clothing

8 - 10 onesies / bodysuits

2 - 3 footed one pieces

4 - 6 burp cloths

2 pairs of booties

2 - 3 caps (more for cold/winter climate)

5 - 6 receiving blankets

8 pairs of socks

4 outfits

Outdoor Gear

Infant car seat

Stroller (and/or stroller that can accommodate car seat)

Sling or baby carrier

Indoor Gear

Play gym

Pack and Play/portable crib

Swing

Activity saucer

Feeding/Nursing

Breastpump

Nursing pillow (we recommend Boppy)

4 bibs

highchair

6 - 10 bottles and nipples

4 - 5 feeding dishes

4 - 5 spoons

For the Bath

Infant bathtub / bath seat

3 hooded towels

10 washcloths

Safety & Care

Digital thermometer

Baby monitor

3 - 4 teething rings

For the Nursery

Crib or bassinet

Crib mattress

2 - 3 waterproof crib pads

2 sheet sets for the crib

2 extra fitted crib sheets

Changing table

Rocking chair/glider

Dresser/Chest of drawers

Diaper Genie & 3 - 4 refills

Mobile

Laundry basket/hamper