Adoption brought more than a son to the arms of Becky and Kipp Fawcett, two graduates of Franklin & Marshall College who now live and work in New York City. It gave them a lifelong cause: raising money to help other families struggling with the financial burden of adopting children.
In 2007, the Fawcetts founded Helpusadopt.org, a national nonprofit that awards grants of up to $15,000 to families hoping to adopt. Requests for funding have far outstripped the supply, spurring efforts to raise even more. “It’s heartbreaking that we can’t help everybody,” says Becky Fawcett, 39, who personally reads each family’s application. “I don’t even know how to express that feeling.”
It’s a feeling she’s felt little choice in embracing. The Fawcetts recognize that if their own circumstances had been different, they might never have been able to build their own family.
Kipp and Becky Fawcett began dating in 1992 when they were students at F&M. They continued to see each other after graduation and eventually married in 1996. Children were always part of the future they envisioned. “We didn’t even have to discuss it,” says Kipp Fawcett, 38.
But their future took an unexpected detour. After a year of unsuccessful attempts to conceive naturally, the Fawcetts turned to a fertility specialist in 2002. That sent them on a two-year, $82,000 journey that did not produce a child.
Adoption was their only recourse, and they had just enough money left in 2005 to make it happen. But after they brought home Jacob, now 4, they kept wondering what they would have done if the money hadn’t been there.
They could have stopped at the wondering. But, says Becky, “That wouldn’t have made it better for anyone else in line behind us, and that’s where Kipp and I just looked at each other and we knew. We just knew it would take over our lives.”
In 2008, Helpusadopt handed out its first grants, totaling $100,000. The money is dispensed in two rounds each year, once in June and again in November. There are no requirements based on race, religion, marital status or sexual orientation. The application asks for basic background information and a personal statement, which allows people to share their stories.
“We want to get a glimpse into who we’re helping,” says Becky. “This is not a loan. This is a gift. And we have such few dollars that we want to make sure we are giving it to people who need it most.”
Applicants also must undergo a home study conducted by state-certified social workers. It’s the same study people must undergo before adopting.
Earlier this year, applications to Helpusadopt rose as the recession shut off the traditional sources of adoption funding, namely credit cards, home equity loans and borrowing from retirement funds, Becky says. The nonprofit received 300 applications for the first round this year. In June, it awarded eight grants, ranging from $3,000 to $12,000.
At first, most of the money for Helpusadopt came from friends and family members. But as the nonprofit raised its profile, donations started coming from people around the country.
The Fawcetts are aiming higher. Their immediate goal is to bring in funds that would go to hiring staff, including a director of development who would work to attract even more donations. “We both believe so strongly in what we’re doing that we just have to keep trying this to make it work,” says Becky, who works as a publicist when she isn’t busy with Helpusadopt. She and Kipp also are hoping to adopt a second child.
In the meantime, applications for the second round of grants were due Oct. 16. The next deadline is mid-April. Most applicants wait until the last two weeks, Becky reveals. But, as of late September, volume
appeared to be down as the slow economy forced people to defer their dreams of parenthood. She is concerned not just for the would-be parents, but also for the children they would have taken home. It’s a concern that has landed her in the middle of bigger debates about adoption.
Becky keeps a blog at www.aninfertileblonde.com. Recent comments have expressed little sympathy for people unable to have children and argue that children are better off staying with their biological parents. “My answer to that is there are a lot of things in a perfect world that we would all love to have happen,” she says. She attributed negative feelings about adoption to the hushed-up approach of the past, where it was seen as a negative.
Changing perceptions is Becky’s long-term battle. But for the moment, she is focused on raising Jacob, advancing Helpusadopt and writing a book about her experiences. “It’s very time consuming,” she says. “And I can’t imagine it any other way.”
Joel Berg is a freelance writer and father of two in York.