The following is a true story of a day in our family’s life. Does any of this sound familiar to you?
1. Clean the gallon fishbowl. Place it on the banister to take back upstairs.
2. Hear the kids screaming. Go into the kitchen to stop the 3-year-old from stealing the 1-year-old’s pretzels.
3. Forget that the cat likes to jump up on the banister. Wait for the loud crash.
4. Run out to find the fishbowl shattered and its contents spilled all over the stairs, landing and living room carpet.
5. Yell for your husband — three times or more, increasing in pitch and volume each time.
6. Grab a cup and scoop up two flopping goldfish, all the while consoling your screaming 3-year-old. “No, the fish are not going to die.” Silently ask God to forgive you for lying.
7. Park the children on the sofa and turn on the TV.
8. Quietly pick up the glass and fake plants with your husband. Thank God that he hasn’t yet said, “Well, that was a stupid idea.” Silently promise to wear an alluring nightie to bed tonight if he doesn’t say it by the time you’re finished.
9. Realize that your children are watching paternity test results on The Maury Povich Show. Put on a video of Bible songs and grimace when “Fishers of Men” comes on.
10. Find an empty orange juice container to store the stunned fish in until you can buy a new bowl. Another silent prayer that the fish floating half on its side perks up by tomorrow morning.
11. Vacuum the entire downstairs and spend the rest of the evening running back to the fishbowl incident area every time the 3-year-old yells, “Look! A sparkle!”
On the bright side:
1. Your house gets vacuumed. (At least the downstairs.)
2. You find the baby’s lost black shoe under the rocking chair.
3. You order pizza for dinner without any discussion of the budget from your husband.
4. And lastly, you get to pick out a prettier fishbowl. Sweet!
Life is either a steady stream of maddening interruptions or a constant adventure. The choice is yours. Our family chooses ADVENTURE!
Sarah DelliGatti is a mother of two girls from Lemoyne.