Cup of Joe / July 2012 / Barking, snarling, pooping and slobbering

Jul 11, 201209:26 AMCup of Joe

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Barking, snarling, pooping and slobbering

There are a lot of things I’ll probably never cross off my bucket-list—like owning my own tropical island and venturing into outer space—but thanks to my wife, I’ve been able to knock off an interesting one: judging a pet show.

I’m not sure how she managed to matriculate into the annual Wrightsville Pet Show judge’s panel. It likely involved her job at the local hangout spot (Sunoco). Regardless of how she became a judge, her acceptance of the position meant my foray into animal judging was to begin as well.

Each year, Wrightsville holds its annual pet show on Independence Day, giving townsfolk the chance to bring out their rabbits, dogs, cats, hermit crabs, turtles, snakes, parrots and, in this year’s case—chickens, for a shot at winning a crisp new $2 bill. My wife and I opted to judge the dog category.

Dogs entered into the contest are judged on tail length, hair length, size and patriotism. During last year’s contest, I landed the coveted tail measurer position. Let me just say, if you ever want to get a dog to bite you, try grabbing it’s tail and poking a metal ruler near its rear end. Fortunately, I escaped with only a couple disgruntled pooch gazes last year, and managed to secure the much-safer hair measurer position this time around.

All of the families and pets that came out to this year’s show seemed to have a fun time—minus one little Chihuahua with an attitude.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a small dog hater, but when I stand over 5 feet away from a snarling hound and it wrinkles its nose and bares its tiny white fangs at me, I don’t plan on getting too close. The other three judges and I decided to eyeball the measurements for that fuzzy little bundle of joy.

The dog show lasted about 30 minutes, and as the entrants and their four-legged friends began to trot on home following the awards announcement, my wife and I thanked the other judges and mentioned that we’d look forward to seeing them again at next year’s show. If you are looking for something fun to do next year on the July 4, stop by and say “hi.” I’ll be the guy with the metal ruler, trying to avoid being bitten.

Have you ever had to judge a competition? Share your experience in our comments section below.