Piercing predicament

Team Dad 100%!!! IMO, all of these teens who get body piercings and/or tattoos are going to regret them when they're older. I think both are disgusting. Regular ear piercing looks fine, but that's it. All of the rest of it is AWFUL!

I'm in the middle. I had my cartilage pierced when I was in high school. I don't remember it hurting and I don't think it's as un-classy as a belly button ring or nose piercing (of which I did have the former, too). On the other hand, if I remember correctly, cartilage piercing take longer to heal. Mine never healed properly, so I ended up taking it out and letting it close anyway. Looking back, it's definitely a teenager thing. I say let her get it and she'll probably want to get rid of it when she's in her 20s anyway.

In most instances I would agree with you, but I think she is old enough. I had my cartalige done and it hurt less then my ears. I eventually let it grow shut because I couldn't stand my hair getting caught. I think if it was eyebrows, or lips, or nose totally different. The cartalige is hardly noticable unless her hair is up. That's just me though. My husband would probably be in the same boat is you. At least she is bugging and asking for your permission and not doing it by herself. I remember friends doing their own peircings and getting infections. Let us know what you decide.

Hey, atleast she is talking to you. I remember about 3 summers ago, I received a photo by text message of a SECOND piercing Bailey received on her ear at a swim team sleepover!!!
The positive side of this, it can grow shut with no permanent damage!!!
Im not so sure about your nerves though.

I side with Team Grace on this one. As the parent of an almost-10 year-old and the cousin to some teens and young adults, I think I can see both sides of this issue. I am also someone who has pierced herself responsibly and discretely over the years. When my then-17 year-old cousin wanted to pierce her nostril (also a cartilage piercing), I figured the smart response was to help her find a very safe, reputable piercer with lots of training to ensure a positive experience with good results. Her parents took her and it turned out very nicely. She was thrilled and was able to undertake this rite of passage with good information that protected her health. She recently got a tattoo with parental supervision and I am certain that doing it with her parents' support and input protected her from illness and injury. (Incidentally, her tattoo was a small pink ribbon in honor of loved ones who have fought breast cancer.)

My daughter has had pierced ears since age five, and we invested a lot of time and effort into teaching her how to handle this privilege responsibly. She hasn't asked to pierce anything else, but I am sure our time will come when she reaches her teens. I believe in encouraging individualism and self-expression, so I will probably say "yes" when the request comes. And then I will help her research an experienced piercer and educate her about how to proceed safely. In my personal experience, piercing really doesn't hurt that much and, if done correctly, is not likely to result in problems later on.

I admit I am pretty liberal about these things, so perhaps my opinion isn't one you would want to hear as a parent. I also think that kids will do things more recklessly when they feel like they need to do it behind our backs or in retaliation when they are finally old enough to do it. And let's face it - our teens are not as prepared to make the safest decisions. They benefit from our input.

I say let her do it. Hold her hand. Let her know it is a privilege.

I say Team Grace. If she were 12, I might think differently, but at nearly 17, I think she's old enough. I also would answer differently if you were talking about eyebrow, nose, lip, bellybutton or other piercings, but cartilage really isn't a big deal. What difference will it make if she waits until the day she turns 18? I highly doubt she'll change her mind between now and then. If she hates it when she's 25, she can just take it out!

TEAM DAD 100%!!Iam currently suffering with the same problem.(sort of!) When my eldest son Art was 12yrs old he talked me into letting him get his left ear pierced. Now he is 15yrs old (16yrs old in November he reminds me EVERYDAY!) Now he asked me to let him get Another earring in the left ear plus one in the right. I said "No way " he begged & pleaded. When that didn't work it was "can I get a piercing in my lip? " Again I said NO! Then it was "can I get my nose pierced? "AGAIN it was no. He has even asked for gages in his ears! I wish I would have never let him get his first piercing. I WILL NEVER ALLOW ANOTHER PIERCING, I PROMISE THAT! Stick to your guns! When she is 18yrs old she can do what she wants, I doubt she will have any interest in piercing her cartilage by then!

Team Grace! I have 2 girls, 16 and 2. I understand never wanting to see them feel pain. But this is so far from mutilation or permanent damage. Piercings heal. I've known and worked with professionals with piercings for at least 10 years now, upright and responsible people who would offend no one and have no self-harming intent. In perspective, you might consider that piercing the ear cartilage is just as arbitrary as the lobes, or for that matter, wearing uncomfortable shoes, when it comes to self-expression and social acceptance that is "harmful" to the self. And what about the other things we all do that are more harmful to our bodies, like eating unhealthy foods or drinking?
As parents we need to constantly assess our own motivation, and put our taste and preferences into context. All that being said, isn't this the age-old struggle? Because you asked for an opinion, I offered it, but ultimately you're the parent. If there was an obvious answer, teens would be perfectly happy with us and would never have a reason to leave home!

Team Dad. Her ears are pierced, the rest can wait. If she still wants it when she is old enough to pay for it herself and make her own decisions, then it is her choice. I've had a lot of friends who have a lot of problems with cartilege piercings and say they wouldn't have done it if they could go back. She'll probably still want it, but it'll be up to her then.

When you live in your parents home, you need to respect their rules.

We let our daughter have her ears pierced at 16. I remember having mine pierced at 14, but I had an allergy to the metal, they got infected, and we had a long healing process before doing it again. I wanted to have my cartilage pierced, but hesitated, and after hearing all my friends horror stories I am very glad that I did!

So... this is answered in 2 parts - both as a piercing/tattoo recipient and as a father of 2 girls. Obviously im not opposed to needlework to the body, and to be honest, what grace is requesting... definitely mild compared to what ive seen our youth sporting around. On the other hand... i see this as a father. Its our job to set our kids on the best path we can possibly forsee for them. Every father has their triggers, and it's not always going to be the same one with each of us. Personally i would take a step back and consider this from a big picture perspective. If, as a father, i still feel this is worth stubbornly and steadfastly standing ground... then she's just going to have to deal. Word of wisdom to grace though... if you really want to win your dad around to this, you have a better chance doing it with honor than whining. It shows your capability to handle adversity like a mature adult - which is why he wants you to wait in the first place. This is an adult decision... so acting childish will only cause him to dig his heels in even more :) best of luck guys